For the first time in three years of owning it, I picked up a copy of “Digital SLR Photograph” within pages I found myself interested in this crazy time lapsed photograph of the Milky Way, what caught my attention was read that the photograph was all captured by a camera during a single exposure. This grabbed my attention because the photograph in question contained Dinosaurs. Shainblum had used two out of one hundred and twenty metal sculptures that surrounded Borrego Springs in the Anza Borrego desert, Calafornia alongside the lack of light pollution to create a wonderfully beautiful photograph.
Googling him a bit more Shainblum’s work is out of this world.
His photographs are that extraordinary he actually took my breath away. I couldn’t find a lot to write about however I’d highly recommend heading over to “http://www.shainblumphoto.com/” and experiencing what he has to offer.
” Take a lot of pictures in order to crawl through the crap to get something half decent”
Researching Martin Parr has been a delight, to be inspired by artists, photographers and enjoy their work is a gratifying feeling but to feel a connection to a photographers idea’s and styles so quickly isn’t something that happens too often. The relevance and playfulness of the photographs got me hooked onto his blog almost instantly, alongside with the warming commentary that wasn’t necessarily needed but extremely enjoyable it felt like that exact moment you can feel yourself connect with someone new. A documentary photographer, photojournalist and collector of many things including Thatcher ornaments and Barack Obama soap, trainers, cookies and nearly anything strange that you could pop his face on to, even a flip flop! Parr is what I always imagined I’d become, he travels, puts himself in the places he needs to be to get what he wants. In a couple of video’s I’ve witnessed him stress how important it is to go and get yourself in the right place, so many photo opportunities get missed and it is up to you to find them. Reading and watching videos really helped me in actually seeing how he works, in another video he was talking about actually taking photographs and how in the United Kingdom and many other countries it is your right to photograph in public as well as how important the right moment can be, one person looking straight into the photograph can ruin the whole thing.
As I’m trying to find one photo that really speaks to me from each photographer I’ve chosen “La Louvre” 2012 for Martin Parr which I found in an article “Martin Parr on Pairs, pants and photobooks” an extremely empty article that gave me nothing new except this photograph. This photograph conjured up a fear in my gut that always shows itself when I have a smartphone in my hand when I’m walking that crucial line between capturing the moment and missing out on moments. He gets this and I think what was so powerful of this photo is why do we need the proof, why is todays society so set on having evidence that we as individuals have witnessed historic moments and is having that memory photographed like millions of others really worth not soaking up every second of being in the presence of the Mona Lisa, maybe it is.
☑ Get new phone and keep it alive past 2016.I’m ticking this one because after the suspicious and mysterious death of my Motorola Razr this morning I will be heading he the car phone warehouse after work tomorrow.This is something I wanted on my list simply because after months of trying to cut technology out a bit more than usual I realised having a smart phone wasn’t the problem. Without a smart phone It is just more uncomfortable to have technology, I end up just lumping my laptop everywhere and stealing ANYONE’s phone to get a decent snapshot. I realised just switching everything off for a portion of the day did me a world of good and a smart phone isn’t going to stop me from doing that, it’ll just save my shoulders from the weight of my laptop.(Update got my new phone!)
☐Number two is passing my driving test. I’ve know after about two years of practicing with a fantastic driving instructor I have now booked my driving test for some time late autumn. I’m so ready for the freedom to go places without the guilt of having to nab lifts everywhere and take all the lovely people that have picked me up places. Now to start saving for driving- pretty sure that’ll be hella harder than learning to drive.
☐Fixing my feet is a big one for me. I feel like I’ve got really horrible feet which always ruin my confidence in doing things that would require me to show them off. I’d really love to have my feet in a state where I could take a yoga class without worrying about anyone being in direct eye contact with my dead skin.
☐Own and use a camera that is of a decent quality. About two/ three years ago I brought a reasonably priced Nikon D40 which I loved, if you go down this blog you’ll find some really beautiful photos I took with it. Eventually as all good things do it became unusable and since then I just haven’t got round to saving up for a new one. This year though I discovered finance and although I have always thought of (for me) financing something would be tying my down to paying for something every month. I feel like this is the right way for me to be able to get a good quality camera that I’m going to use when I know I’m just not a saver.
☐Nice way to lead of to; Saving specifically for travelling. As I’ve just mentioned I am not a saver, I try but sometimes it just doesn’t work out but I do plan on going travelling and I’ve decided to open up a separate saving account icer (the account that don’t let you use your saving for a year- for those weak willows like me) for a year to allow me to achieve this.
☐I want to book a holiday. I would love to be paying towards something exciting like a fantastic trip to Disney land or something, I have not been or even attempted to go for about two years and enough is enough!
☐Finally Blog more. This post being on my wordpress is basically because I knew I couldn’t write a list with the words “Blog more” on it without blogging it. I really want to expand my skills at writing and just being able to send my brain words to my finger words, blogging really helps that but sometimes laziness feels so good I cave. I really want to find the right balance of relaxing and being productive.
2017 come at me.
*My eyes snap open the second the alarm goes off, already I can see the calm outside, not even the wind is showing its face tonight and yet every drop of my blood is pulsing like waves crashing against my skin as if it is trying to escape. I’m ready for this. It has to be done.
Outside I feel like I’m sneaking past my mothers bed to grab the odd fag from the nightstand, my hands usually getting just within reach before a snore would send me straight back to bed. Heel, toe, heel, toe I can now see the dark eyes of the house peering down on me, is it judging me or them? Glass reflecting light between the wheels of a small bike catches my eye and for a second I almost loose my nerve. I’ve walked past this garden every night with Stanford, my brown eyed staffie watching the toys and mess grow and change. I close my eyes, picturing her scars and remind myself why I’ve got to take their dog.
*There he is again, the kind guy from next door he is always walking his little dog down here, making sure he has a peep at Bernie. He probably get’s to see Bernie more than me, daddy always says he’s not my toy.
I don’t like the way daddy and his friends play with their dogs, Bernie is always bleeding, every time he gets back. I want to make it better like my horse, all I have to do is put water on my horse and his wounds get better, why won’t he let me fix Bernie too? Maybe mr kind guy will let me play with Bernie too.
*Week after week Dom and his dog had walked past Danny Crocker’s house, watching with pain in his chest as the dog chained up outside collected scar after scar. Dom had begged for a dog for as long as he could remember, his mother had always told him he’d have no idea how to care for a dog, a fag burning away at her callas hands as she lectured him on why he wasn’t good enough to look after anything or anyone.
Finally he’d moved out, he’d moved as far away as possible but until he got Stanford he’d not spent a day without her voice ringing in his ears but tonight for the first time it felt almost as if her words might pop out of his mouth.
He’d gotten all the way to the back gate of Danny’s house when a pair of tiny hands opened it for him, whimpering and covered in blood the childs ankle was bleeding heavily. Silently sobbing the child latched on to his neighbors leg and said “Don’t tell daddy I played with his toy”.
The deep yellow of the light covered every crack in the dark leather, revealing every crease for all too see. Theo was there, his warmth visible without even being close to him. It occured to me that day that comfort wasn’t always visible. The times I had ached, when even bodies holding me up had done nothing but keep me standing. These were nothing compared to the love of someone of whom had no idea what bands I liked, or if my opinions were politically correct, no idea about anything that we all pick apart in someones personality to see if they are worthy of our time. With those eyes that never failed too understand, to crave the attention I needed to give.
Often times when emotions are off balance, I’ve been desperate to comfort when I could not and desperate not to when I could, never rationally but always unmistakably painful but to have someone around that even if its fictionally sensing every emotion. A hot water, a hug when needed, a needy stare across the room and all that Is expected back is food and care.
Here is how I worry,worry all the time.
My brain is too slow, my hands falling behind
Is it cancer, am I too young? Never mind.
Heart is racing, pumping round my thoughts.
Here is how I worry, worry all the time.
Is it normal, what ever could it be?
Whats going on inside me, if only I could see.
Aching, breaking never feeling fine.
Could it really just be all in my mind.
Here is how I worry,how do I find the time.
Running the race for life has been something I keep saying I’m going to do and never get around to but this year I was determined, no matter how much money I could raise or whether I decided to walk or run it, I was going to try and today I did.
Fair enough I haven’t managed to raise a lot of money but I have raised more than I would have done forgetting about the whole affair, I walked the 5K(in fifty eight minutes may I brag) with my momma and feel better for it. I always go into these things with the mindset that if I don’t run the whole thing to the point I am pouring blood from every orifice then I have failed.
That is not the point of Race For Life, it is there to not only raise money for something that has touched most of our lives and is currently a big part of someone I loves life, it’s to remind you to keep trying. Keep raising money, raising awareness, not putting cancer on the back burner until it effect you personally.
If you would like to help fight cancer even if it is just by a pound here is my donation page, if not there are usually options to donate on websites, maybe plan your own event and even on cashpoints you can now donate .
After a very satisfying nine seasons I have come to the end of a very emotional series. “How I Met Your Mother” as dramatic as it may seem and I’m sure quite lame Robin,Ted,Barney,Lily and Marshall have been keeping me sane for the past handful of weeks and going through 10ish years of their lives with them has brought me a weird kind of peace.
(photo from this link)
What started of as a time filler, I fancied something light to put my brain to rest before I tried to sleep, became an emotional commitment. Following that yellow umbrella as Teddy Westside climbed his way through hundreds of “the ones” I became attached to each of the characters.
Marshall with his kind hearted but loyal personality and of course his hilarious puns, Ted with his calligraphy, Lily who I’m sure scared everyone around her, Robin who annoyed the shit out of me and Barney who we all knew had a soul.Even Patrice.
I have noticed a lot recently the only shows I can really enjoy are the ones where you can tell there is a deeper connection between the actors than just the show, shows like Top Gear and League of their own were where I first noticed how friends working together really makes a difference. There is something about how I met your mother where you can feel a real life friendship that sneaks out throughout the seasons, something that makes it really special,it was fantastically thought out and managed to hold my attention even if I just stuck an episode on to take my mind away from everything else going on.
As I’m sure I’m a late bloomer to HIMYM I’m still not going to throw any spoilers into the mix but the ending really did break my brain and my heart as well as my tear ducts.
Even after finishing Sons Of Anarchy I’ve never quite enjoyed an ending to the point I just turned the tv off and sat in silence and enjoyed the emotion that pulsed through me.
(Photo from this link)
It’s so sad to say goodbye to such a fab show, no doubt to become a comfort blanket for the tough times.
Closing my eyes, I sit crossed legged on the bed my heart still thudding making the muscles in my body tense but I do as instructed and breath out like a lion, although today I do not feel like a Lion more like a deer. The video continues to play “And now focus on your breathing forgetting the day, forgetting anything that is happening…”.
Suddenly I feel myself plodding my flat feet making soft thudding noise on the floor every now and then cracking an old branch as I pass by. The lights dancing in between the trees catching my eyes every now and then causing them to sting. The silence is making me feel nostalgic, almost home sick. I spy those tiny little upside down tear drop flowers, a gorgeous blue colour almost brighter than the sky blue. What are they called? Pear Drops? no no. Bluebells!
Almost as if a cold finger has run a nail up my spine I feel a chill come over me but the forest remains so still, so peaceful. Memories of this place start to stir, my grandad hiding his huge walking branch behind a tree, hoping no one would steal it and mushroom picking with the both of them.
A sharp pain starts between my rib cage starts again, my breathing becoming harsh and my eyes snap open wide.
Feeling a bit lost after coming to terms with the fact that I left school five whole years ago and my baby brother is now about to finish his exams and soon start sixth form, it has been quite hard not to just stay in bed and stay in my safe place with Marshall,Lily,Ted,Robin and Barney (the cast of How I Met Your Mother). So I decided I needed to do something, something that made me feel like I was growing, would throw me out of my comfort zone and wouldn’t make me feel like I was just floating through time now that I didn’t have the structure of school. I realised whilst at school there is always a Next. Infants and then you do your sats in Juniors and then you go to secondary school and then decide whether you want to go to college or sixth for and,and,and. What I had never considered was how hard it would be when they took all those and’s away.
Every month I started looking into a trying to pay for some courses at City Lit College in Covent Garden, I live in the West Midlands but luckily I have someone to stay with for a night whilst I do my course( just a quick note for anyone considering a course in london getting a railcard makes it really affordable just to go up for the day) Originally I wanted to get back into my artistic side, I felt like I needed motivation and picked an Art and Design portfolio course that helps people get into foundations and universities and then last minute I couldn’t stop thinking about doing a Creative writing course.
What has surprised me about doing both these courses which may seem similar in creativity but I find extremely contrasting.In both courses i have already pushed myself so much in 3 lessons in. Although one of the down sides for me personally is Art has just reminded me of my old bad habits, not wanting to do the work in such limited time for example have 45 minutes on two different pieces of art so never actually being able to build a relationship with a piece.I’ve also found it extremely hard to connect to the idea of art this time round and this has made me realise maybe I have changed, maybe not going to Uni to do fine art was the right decision. I can’t love it anymore and that is okay.
Both of these courses and if you are reading this thinking why should I do a evening course this is my biggest selling point. I’ll start off with describing myself I am quiet, not overly confident and I hate it, I want to be able to push myself and for a while I stopped believing I could both these courses have made me speak about work I have put myself into. I have never physically shaken so much in my life doing it, but it feels so good to know I have. You have never done enough learning the world is far too magical to stop.
I’m only halfway through these courses but I know I will definitely be taking more courses and pushing myself it is hard. It is so hard but I can just tell it is going to be worth it.
(photo taken from http://boardofwisdom.com/togo/Quotes/ShowQuote?msgid=53590#.VzWvDfkrK00)